More lonely....

Don't want to sob while people are awake to see me but...I had an attack of the "lonelys" this evening. Maybe it was that I did not have the $ to ice skate with oldest B. Maybe it was the fact I was watching her skate while wearing flip flops and a tshirt. Maybe it was the flashing Christmas lights on the bases of the palm trees. Something was just off for me. I was VERY lonely. I wanted to find a corner and cry.

I think I need friends. But to be a good friend that would take a time investment and since there are not enough hours in the day for me to do what I HAVE to do how to I add "find a new friend" to my infinite to do list?

Any one out there my friend???


....crickets chirping.....

Feeling Blue...

Not sick this weekend (Thank God!) just down, depressed, blue....You would think I hopped out of bed well rested as I did not have my toddler visitor last night (not sure why...need to figure out so I can do a repeat performance...) but regardless, I really do not like waking up and hitting the ground running in the mornings. The girls wake up first - usually WAY before anyone else. Fine. But then it is like I am at their beckon call once I am up. Granted the oldest is wanting to do things on her own which is great but usually makes a bigger mess for me in the long run (like when she makes toast, butter and jelly and leave globs of jelly on the table creating a sticky permanent glue like concoction for anything else that comes in contact with it which is usually my elbow when I am trying to feed the baby). This morning I wanted to read through my new Glamour magazine. I swear I would read maybe 2 sentences before having to answer a question, over see a task being done or pull the baby from licking the screen door (not sure why she wants to do this but soon the whole bottom half will be clean a la baby spit...). I really tried to keep my cool but before noon I was mentally fried. It doesn't help that being in our new state I have no escape. No money to shop (my usual excuse). Don't have any friends other than at work and we have not traded home info so I guess we're still just colleagues then. My blog mommies online are my usual outlet but again I was not being left to myself long enough to read a magazine article (I can wave that over my head while fighting off a baby) so reading through BHB was not an option. Just really a down day. Not happy. Poor, poor pitiful me. :(