Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Am I a bad Mom?

One of my friends has something like the following in her bloggy header "She is probably a good mother just not a good advertisement for motherhood." I kind of feel like I might fit that description. As a species us women especially mothers constantly compare ourselves to one another. (This is a gender flaw that DH says makes women rarely win those voting reality shows as well as will not become president.)

Anyhoo....the first reason for my sub par maternal feeling is I don't feel the need to schedule every second of every day for my children. Seriously, a friend of mine has her children's days planned up to September and the kids are 4! I personally have been enjoying this summer of simplicity with mine. Maybe I am a homebody or maybe it is b/c I still do not have a large friend base here in my "new" state (new as in we have now been here a year and I still really don't have a large set of friends.....I guess that is another post in and of itself). The girls and I have been sharing household responsibilities as well as trying to cook a lot of different foods from scratch. Just made my first cheesecake from scratch the other day. :) So am I a bad Mommy for not planning daily outings or crafts every single day? Are my girls going to grow up lacking?

I have also come to the realization that this year we will not do birthday parties for the girls like we have in the past. With us still paying for the house up north at this point there is really just no room in the budget for us to do things like we have before. I hope this does not scar them for life. I know I am being dramatic but....I feel like I am failing them (yet again). I guess if the house sells this could change but with gymnastics season beginning on the oldest's birthday weekend, if I have not planned in advance it probably won't happen.

I don't sit around the 3 hours a day my oldest practices gymnastics. Does that mean I am a bad Mommy? Heck, I am even missing the transportation provided by the gym to get her from school to practice. I have to taxi it both ways. If it were just me I don't think I would mind too much but lugging the toddler and the Middie for the taxi run is just annoying.

I could be considered a bad Mommy b/c after the portable DVD player died after 5 long years of service and several trips (car and plane) I supported my DH when he purchased two portable DVD players (one for each big girl = no more arguing over what to watch). But even more so b/c this morning they have vegged out with their own player. How many movies are too many?

Am I a bad Mommy b/c i don't have the extra funds right now to put my soon to be 2 year old in a class of some sort? At this point in their lives my other two they had taken gymnastics (Mommy and me type class of course) and swimming. #3 is really missing out.....

Well, I think that is probably enough Mommy bashing of myself at this point. I will save this post no longer...posting and letting it all go...ooosa ooosa oosa


Alice's Aunt said...

Oh good grief no! Not Bad Mommy for not totally scheduling kids time. Yikes!

I know I'm 'old as the hills' and it probably doesn't count but - my childhood time wasn't scheduled. Don't think that concept had really hit main stream anyway, back then.

And we never fully scheduled our kids time. Summer was their time off.

Reminder - In my day and in theirs, it was 'safe' to go out and play. Not so, today. -le sigh- Just had this discussion with middle son, the other day. Times change and so do how kids have to live.

But still, parents don't have to fully _schedule_ kid's time. Just make sure they are safe. IMHO.

And last but not least - So happy that you liked the hair, of 'Alice'/'Jasper' characters, in 'Twilight' film. Nice to have someone agree with us, hu? :-)

'Alice's Aunt'

Alice's Aunt said...

OT... but...

I'm replying to another comment by you, in my blog. I always reply to comments, thus. Because I don't get a chance to return to blog-comments in other's blogs... to see if what I said, got any response. So I don't think other people have the time to return to my comments.

So I respond, in their blog. :-)

You commented that you'd seen that there will be scenes purposely put in the film, that weren't in the book. Which does sound weird, at first blush. But... I think what was meant was...

The book has the time to stretch out some happenings. The film has much less time, to do so. So, they have to 'condense' as it were, in the film. And maybe that's how such [not in book] scenes happen? Maybe?

'Alice's Aunt'

Bdubba said...

AA- thanks for your Mommmy reassurance. I just don't want to mess my kids up, ya know? They are fine with unscheduled time and so am I. I have become the homebody this summer. lol Lack of fundage can do that to a person I suppose.

OT reply - I am curious about this scene (if indeed Jacob is in it - he could have just been hanging out on set between takes) b/c he is coming into his shape shifting during this book and the vampires' smell becomes distinct and unbearable to him, right? So how can he be that close to Alice w/o a reaction as it takes such control later on?

I know what you mean about condensing though - I don't really like it (Twilight being totally condensed) but.....understand, I guess. *Folds arms, puffs out lip and pouts*