All alone....

I have decided that the communal bathrooms in college are just preparing you for when you have children - you never are in the facilities alone.

It could just be more of a 'Mom thing'. I know men have those unwritten 9well, what do you know - they are written somewhere so I guess unspoken is a more appropriate title) urinal rules (see below).

Here is a short list of the Unspoken Rules for Urinal Etiquette. (taken from this site after googling)

1. No Talking
This is the most important rule of urinal etiquette! There is no talking allowed. EVER! No exceptions!

2. Always leave a buffer urinal
Unless it is absolutely necessary, do NOT ever pick an empty urinal that is located directly next to an occupied urinal. Seriously. If there are five urinals, take the one that is furthest away from me. Why would you publicly park your penis right next to mine? This may result in a very uncomfortable awkwardness that resonates between you and your temporary urinal neighbor.

3. Look straight Ahead!
Count the tiles. Read the advertising. Mentally calculate your tab. Think of an ice-breaker for the girl you’re not going to even try to pick up. I don’t care what you do…. Just look straight ahead. Not up or down, or anywhere around…. Straight ahead! You don’t want people getting the wrong idea.

4. Posture & Position Is Very Important
Stand up straight. Don’t stand too far back from the urinal. And don’t lean back either. Nobody wants to see a side view of you holding your junk. On the same accord, nobody wants to see a stream coming from your genital-area. Get in close, and get down to business.

5. Don’t Waste Time
Get in. Get out. Especially if there is a line of people waiting to use the urinal.

6. Never Make Direct Eye Contact
Making direct eye contact with another man standing at the urinal is never a wise idea. Nothing good can come out of direct eye contact. Either a severe beatdown or unwanted sexual contact are the most likely consequences for making direct eye contact with another man, while he is comfortably urinating in public.

7. Making Sounds Is NEVER Acceptable
No moans. No grunts. No sighs. No satisfying sounds what-so-ever. Just step in front of the urinal, and get to the point. If you are behind closed stall-doors, then exceptions can be made. But, if you are holding your junk in your hands, while standing directly next to another man, you should NEVER make these bodily-noises! Ever.

8. Everybody Farts, Nobody Acknowledges Farts
If you happen to fart during urination, do not look around to see if anybody heard it. Chances are they already know it was you, and chances are, they’ve done it too. Just pretend like it didn’t happen and go about your business.

9. Flush It. Only If You’re Brave
Flushing is NOT always necessary. Mainly because nobody wants to touch a handle that other people touch directly after they were holding their junk. However, if there is a strong aroma of urine or a dark shade of yellow-orange, flushing may be a necessity. On the other hand, washing your hands is an ABSOLUTELY necessary! Don’t be lazy. Spend the 30 seconds to sanitize your hands. Because we all touch the same door handle on the way out.

10. Shake it, Don’t Spray It
When you shake it off, make sure drops of urine do NOT get all over you or the floor. It’s a bad idea to shake wildly, due to the mystery of where it will land. Nobody wants to step in it, and drops of urine on your pants or shirt may prove to be quite embarrassing. Shake with care, especially if the person in the next urinal is wearing brand new Air Jordans… Bottom Line - Just remember to shake with care.

11. No Cell-Phones Allowed!
We have established that talking to other patrons in a bathroom is never allowed. Ever! This also applies to those on your cellphone. Cell Phone conversations ruin the whole urinal experience, for you and everybody else around you. Honestly, one of the main reasons I leave for the bathroom is to get away from the noise. To get away from the constant chatter, and spend a few moment of peace with just me and my penis. I don’t want to hear your mindless drunk dialing.

12. Leave Your Beer Behind
Don’t take your drink into the bathroom. I understand that sometimes it’s necessary, depending on the venue in which you are drinking. But, Urinal germs can float in the air. And when I say Urinal germs, I mean some strange man just took a piss right where you are taking a sip from your beer. Why would you bring your tasty beverage into that area? You should ONLY take your beer in front of a urinal, is when it’s absolutely necessary! And you do so AT YOUR OWN RISK! (yes, this includes bottled-drinks)

Good Advice

Here's Some Good Advice
Author Unknown


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion,today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it is still a gift!

Nov 20

Wanna know what I'll be doing......




(not the Perez Hilton part but that is where I borrowed the image from...)

Yin and Yang

Why is it that when the school front is going good (well, as good as I think I am capable anyway - there just some things out of my control), the home front goes to hell? (And vice versa of course.) It's like all places cannot coexist in harmony in my life. It give me a case of the sadz.


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Why?

Why am I NOT allowed to have a bad day?

On the same page....

DH and I had a nice little chat this morning (he was folding laundry and I was cleaning the kitchen - housework make the heart grow strong, lol). We talked about how when we do get to buy a house down here (see, positive thinking again...come on St. Joesph and since I am giving shouts outs to the Patron Saints....St. Anthony, what's up???), we wanted to be selective of our our purchases for it since we have been living with WAY less down here. (Moving from a 4 bedroom house to a three bedroom apartment, will do that to ya!) So some things we mentioned and agreed upon (getting this in writing so an not to forget...):

1) The office/computer room is going to be kept "show ready". We were both guilty of keeping it junky with papers, computer parts, trinkets, and other odd items but when we got the house into "show mode" once on the market, it really felt like a nice room to be in. It was light and airy feeling. Decluttered but homey. One of the things that I think helped was to cover the the stainless steel kitchen cart thing that DH used to house several of the computers (including our server...yes, we have one for our home...I don't argue...his deal...every one needs a hobby, I guess and there are a lot of worse things he could be doing). I used a silver grey piece of fabric and for being a monsterous piece it looked quite pretty after that. So for that room we need things to be hidden.

2) In addition to that I must store more of my teacher stuff elsewhere (like at school) or get rid of it. I had the whole closet in that room (the first year into the house DH put shelves in that closest so I could store my book s 2 or 3 deep. The closet was overflowing!) So, to help alleviate that one my part I plant to scan and digitize as much as possible. Colleagues of mine both past and present have down this and I think I need to b/c they always prove to be so organized with their stuff as opposed to me saying "I have this activity somewhere.....I'll see if I can find it" and then proceed to thumb through gazillions of files and books searching for it. Those said colleagues have organized their documents by topics too so that if textbooks change (and they always do every few years) or I change subjects/levels (as I seem to do every few years) I can still use my resources instead of being locked into the text supplementals or starting back over. I guess I am growing up. lol

3) When we purchase new furniture we will purchase a room's worth instead of mix matching AND we will NOT purchase a couch or couch like item from Lazy Boy. Recliner...maybe. Our couch - this first BIG piece of brand new furniture we bought ourselves 2 years ago as a custom order - SUCKS!!!! Service was poor while purchasing and delivery too. Warranty my foot! The padding had been worn down to where on certain pieces of the sectional it feels like you are sitting directly on the frame portion. Where the recliner piece's rip cords are (hidden between pieces), it has always been painful if you sit on that joint in the wrong way. There are more complaints we have but I will stop there for now....it would actually need an entire post of its own.

4) We want to have an idea of what and how we want each room before we go purchasing items so that we don't 'settle' for things. (Remember my post about trying to decide what I want for the girls' rooms?) We have been bad about that in the past. :( I think it is because we were both brought up to make do with what we have and not want for things we our families never had a lot of spare money anyway. We settled for the house up north. We actually wanted a basement and this one did not have it. We knew it was a fixer-upper and won't make that mistake again either. We learned a lot but it is someone else turn for that - we're too old. lol This reason is why I obsessively watch the home shows and follow certain blogs so I can get a mental picture of what I want. The problem is I don't have a set style (at least I don't think I do). If I had to classify my housing taste it would be modern country. See what I mean? I like the homey feel of country charm but not all the useless clutter so it has to have a modern flair or twist that is streamlined. Yeah, not hard to please. lol

Feels like I have already done a ton work today thinking about all these things. And I still have papers left to grade. hmph...

The Lord works in Mysterious ways....

This morning the middie has a gymnastics "meet" (basically hyped up presentation for the parents to spend $75 on for an obnoxiously pink leotard, admission, trophy, certificate, and many photo ops). I was there for the first session. The 'preschool' session. When I signed up for this I talked through the submission with the lady at the desk. The middie is in Pre-K. She is 5 years old and takes the beginner class. So for the last two months her class has been working on their routines for each apparatus (beam, bars, floor and vault). As I watch as the meet starts I notice she is about a head taller than every other child out there. I snicker about that to myself but the tallness is not unusual for my little family seeing how Big Daddy is 6'7". After the beam where each gymnast literally got to walk down it I began to get annoyed since I got the feeling she was in the wrong group. The middie learned real routines. She was even demonstrating for me last night "the candlestick" where she lays on the beam and pulls her toes up over her head. While this is all processing in my brain I hear another woman say something about all the kids being 3 or 4 years old. Mine's not! I was getting angry at this point and trying to figure out who to talk to as obviously a mistake had been made. The mull over this as the events pass. I try to smiles and laugh and clap like the other parents but I am very peeved. Then the awards ceremony took place where each child walked up the podium to receive their ribbon, trophy and other little goodies - photos galore during this time by loving family members. An announcement comes on saying there will be a raffle following the awards. We sit and wait. I am still simmering at this point about the receptionist not helping schedule the middie for the correct meet level/time. Then her name is called. She WON the raffle!!! It is for a year's scholarship for gymnastics! For the "normal" person this may not be a big deal but this made my boiling blood freeze in its tracks as we are talking about not having close to a $100 commitment each month for the next year!!!! You do the math. $75 fee for this thing (which Mamaw so graciously paid since we have no spare money) but win $1200 scholarship! Amen!!! I truly believe this is one of the ways God is providing for us as we are barely keeping afloat paying to live down here and not yet having the house sold up north. I am very thankful to be this blessed!